This time of year, it is almost inevitable. I start to get many, many student and parent requests related to grades, and even more so (gulp) TESTING! State testing simply gives educators data about how students are doing, and a picture of their progress over time. I can remember taking state testing as a child. It was VERY difficult because of the roaring dinosaurs...they were SO distracting! Seriously though...I don't even remember knowing when testing would be until the morning of. I certainly don't remember being stressed out about it. Many of our babies are! RTE students frequently throw around the term "benchmark testing". This makes my counselor heart hurt. How/why do these cherubs even know that term? So, I'm going to sprinkle in some perspective about testing and grades in this blog. The students know I love to talk about perspective. Our thoughts control our emotions and behavior. Perspective affects our thoughts. Doesn't it make perfect sense that if we exercise the most healthy perspective, our thoughts/feelings and behavior will follow suit? As adults it is so important to remind our kids that they are more than their scores/grades. Many famous individuals made poor grades or struggled academically at some point: Thomas Edison, Steve Jobs, Thomas Jefferson, Bill Gates, Joe Biden to name a few. Even one of our fabulous RTE leaders recently proclaimed, "Cs get degrees!" It's no wonder our students feel "test anxiety", then start to fear anxiety itself. So, #1) we can start by reminding students that some anxiety is good. It is a human condition that motivates us to get things done on one end, and potentially protects our existence on the other end of the spectrum (think: running from that dinosaur mentioned above). It isn't to be feared. #2) we can focus on the process of learning, not the end result. Students don't enter their formal education all-knowing. Learning is what school is all about. If they know everything, why are they here? Mistakes are the absolute best teachers. Instead of "how could you get that grade? You studied didn't you? You are going to fail!" maybe say, "it seems you don't understand this YET. What have you learned from this? Do you feel you did your best? What do you need to work on? By the way, your drawing in art was FABULOUS and thank you for cleaning up your room!" When talking to your child, remember all the things you love about him/her and remind them as well. It is really easy as a parent to overreact to grades/test scores...I know! Been there done that! An overly dramatic (I admit) way I reframe my thoughts when this happens is to think to myself, "if a giant asteroid was hurdling toward earth, would this matter?" This is that perspective piece. Compare that asteroid to your child's sense of self-esteem and their place in this world. If either is damaged, would grades/test scores really matter? Am I suggesting letting your child sleep in class, for your child to not attempt challenging things, not have goals, etc? Absolutely not. As adults we help our children by modeling a healthy perspective in all things. Balance is key! Below (click image to access) is a great resource/reminder for students from GoZen to color and practice mindfulness. Put on some calm music, grab the markers/crayons and create your masterpiece with your child. I bet the end results will be unique to both of you!
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